The High-End Audio 12-Step Program
Please don't think that addiction applies only to behaviors or substances unrelated to Hi-fi.
If you answer yes to any or all of the following questions and you realize that you are ready, please e-mail me right now!
I have to have the latest level of audio performance as soon as it becomes available.
I phone directly to Hi-fi manufactures to get the best information on what the new piece of equipment will be and when it's coming to my dealer.
The staff of my favorite Hi-fi manufacturers knows me, knows me by first name or knows me by the sound of my voice.
I've used or stashed away money for otherwise important family obligations to use for Hi-fi upgrades.
I've traded or sold and upgraded more than two pieces of audio equipment in the past six months.
I've traded or sold and upgraded more than four pieces of audio equipment in the past six months.
I've traded or sold and upgraded more than two pieces of audio equipment in the past six weeks.
Most of my magazine subscriptions are Hi-fi publications.
It's seems comfortable and acceptable to me to pay three-thousand dollars or more for a three foot pair of audio connecting cables.
It's seems comfortable and acceptable to me to pay four-hundred dollars or more for a set of feet to go under a piece of my audio equipment.
I have to have the most expensive piece of equipment available in a given category.
What my friends think of my sound system is as important to me as my perception of the sound of my system.
If a friend gets a piece of equipment that is better than what I have in that category I get agitated, can't sleep, begin ignoring what my spouse is saying to me or begin specific plans to find the money to trade, sell or upgrade and I can't relax until that occurs.
More often than not, I play records or CDs that I don't necessarily enjoy listening to but show my system off to it's absolute limits of performance.
While making love I find myself fantasizing about audio equipment.
Sex is more enjoyable while my sound system is playing.
I find that my most frequent and most exciting fantasy is of a young, beautiful, shapely woman who is as conversationally knowledgeable about Hi-fi as I am and can hear the way I can.
I've found absolutely nothing at all unusual about the phrase "hi-fi" appearing capitalized throughout this questionnaire.
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(c)1996 Ira Norman Segall